I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I could fuck to npr.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
