if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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