I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
