Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
