Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
