i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
smell my finger.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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