So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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