: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
