I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
