I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
