I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
