dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
