The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
zippers are such a cool invention
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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