her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
