My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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