So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
