I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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