Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
