But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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