Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
even my farts smell like vagina
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
