Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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