I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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