at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
