Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You may now shotgun with the bride
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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