Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she smelled like a LAN party
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
