Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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