he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
