what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
