you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
