How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
