I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Semen is not good for contacts.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
