i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
