just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
