i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
