Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
