I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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