I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
