I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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