Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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