so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
