Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
