I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
