His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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