Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
