I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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