why didn't you poke me back
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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