Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
