the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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