if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
