Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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