Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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