Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
