after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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