i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
