i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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