I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
